"Go and live."

Even when the medications and pain clouded your mind, your words somehow came out clearly on the phone line from California to South Korea. "Go and live. Don't put off living your life, to watch me sit around here."

Grandma,
you gave us each wings
and told us to fly.

Your tender hands
quilted love into blankets
to keep the adventurers warm.

Your big heart
stored all of the silly stories
and logged each of our accomplishments.

Your eager ears
waited for our "little" footsteps
to return once more.

Your searching eyes
found ours... hoping
to see happiness,
contentment,
and joy.

Your loving soul,
it birthed us,
nurtured us,
and made us each whole.

What I'll miss...
Your smile
Your sweet tooth
Your pure joy in the presence of children... your longing to be with babies wherever they were.
Your nose in a book.
Your "friends"=the quail, the cows, and hummingbirds in the backyard.
The way your voice went low when you'd say "Honey" and lean in, because you wanted me to really 'hear' this part.
The way you "washed" the dishes in hot, soapy water before letting the dishwasher even get a chance to try.
Your lovely red locks... I always envied your hair.
How I always got choked up when we left your house and that desperate desire I'd feel to hold onto the last moments with you, after the car was packed but before we had climbed in. The longing to sit with you... to touch you again.
The tenderness you had with your children. I'll especially miss the way you loved my Daddy and the way that he loved how you loved him.


Grandma, I miss you already... and selfishly so.
I wish that my children could have known you and that my future husband could have met you...

BUT they will know you through me.
My love of reading came from a red-headed grandma who always had her nose in a book and a list of book recommendations as soon as I walked through the door.
My love of children came from the single mother of seven who raised a clan of Gaares and not only lived to tell about it, but seems to have loved every minute of it.
My love of adventure came from a strong woman who listened to my stories and sent me off to record more.
My sense of humor came from the woman who wore the "little old lady shoes" and loved to tell and re-tell the funny things her children and grandchildren once did.

You live on in my tender moments with my family... the family you started and that I am blessed to continue in.

I know that once I make it to Heaven finding you will be a cinch, I'll listen for babies laughing and hummingbird wings.