Ode to Erika

Dedicated to my most faithful reader...






We met while making mochas at the 'Bucks. She seemed nice at first...















Then she opened her mouth...
to share with me her wit and humor. Quickly, I loved her even more.








Sometimes she was a little inappropriate at work. (But truthfully we all were, because that was how we kept ourselves sane.)













We became "fast Frappucino friends".









(Both being lactose intolerant, we should have been "soy friends"... but... well we LOVE those disgusting drinks... with EXTRA caramel.)







In time the Starbucks routine started to drive us mad...
and we began getting a little stir crazy.












Love and Kisses to Erika!!!
One faithful reader of this blog who brings me much joy and gladness.







I owe you an illegal Frappucino sometime very soon!!!

Viva Mexico

Some recent remodeling in our house called for a trip to Mexico... and since my mother and I LOVE adventures, we were the girls for the job! One week ago today, mom and I packed up our purses with bottled water and small change and started heading south on the I-5.

As we reached Solana Beach (one city south!) my aunt called to chat.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hi Aunt Mindy! Come to Mexico with us."
Aunt Mindy: "I don't think you want an old lady ruining your fun, but thanks."
Me: "Well it's my mom and I... so I don't think another old lady will be a problem."
Aunt Mindy: "What are you doing?"
Me: "We're going shopping, to eat lobster and drink margaritas."
Aunt Mindy: "Okay I'm in."

and so we talked her into joining our posse...
After an afternoon of poorly negotiating for blankets (my mother has NO idea how to say "No"), we ventured forth for lobster and margaritas...


Get a couple drinks in me and I'm ready for love.

Panchito and I hit it off right away. ;)

lovely

Why Are We Friends???

Because I'm a freak and she is entertained by me...
more pics and stories to come soon from Jayma and my grand adventure in San Francisco.

Grant's Response

Alas, no, Melissa, it's not right.

It's not an acronym at all. In fact, there is no record of an acronym
from before about 1900, so you can be sure that if someone claims
that a word with a long history is one, that it isn't. I'm using the
strict definition of "acronym," by the way, meaning that the letters
that stand for each word in the phrase are pronounced as a word and
not spelled out. Otherwise, you could count SPQR and perhaps ICHTHUS,
which I am just counting as initialisms.

According to my reference books, "news" is from the Middle English
"newes," the plural of "newe" meaning "new thing." That in turn is
from the Old English "niwe" or "neowe" (the vowels following each "n"
are long). Even further back, the same root shows up in Old Norse, in
Greek, and, originally, in the Latin "novus," which, of course, just
means "new."

So, it's probably best to keep that book in the bathroom and use it
for bum-fodder. :)

By the way, be sure to join our new email list to get our latest news
about new shows:

http://www.waywordradio.org/?page_id=3

Now you've got me singing that song from the Bob Hope movie "The
Paleface": East is east and west is west...buttons and bows, dah di
dah...


Grant Barrett
Co-host, "A Way with Words"
http://waywordradio.org

True Confessions

Below is a copy of an email I sent this evening to A Way With Words, a local public radio program that discusses the English language. I will update you as soon as I hear back... enquiring minds want to know!


I was recently reading (on the toilet) from a book titled Trivia for the Toilet and came across something that didn't settle well with me:

"The word "news" came from the first letters of the words North, East, West, and South. This was because information was being gathered from all different directions."

Is this true? I will, of course, trust your judgment.

Thank you.

Melissa Gaare
Encinitas, CA


*A special tidbit for my readers only*

"Ough" can be pronounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A tough, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully."

Change of Plans

I will not be MacGyver tomorrow. :( I will be something that two and a half year olds can appreciate.... perhaps a princess or Barney. hahahahha

Jajjajaja

The funniest comic I've read in awhile. :)

What Lies in the Depths of a Heart

"I detest the man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart and speaks forth another."
-Homer


After reading this quote, I immediately thought Homer was talking about other people. I could think of just the people he must have meant. "I know people like that," I thought. "I hate people like that!"

People who aren't real... aren't true, drive me crazy. I crave authentic. I feel safe in honesty and detest hypocrisy.

BUT do I live an authentic life? or do I hide my true heart?

To be honest I wasn't sure. I couldn't remember the last time that I had "spoke forth the depths of my heart." So in an effort to find out what may lurk in the depths of said heart I took myself on a date last week. We (Me, Myself, and I) went to dinner and a movie. We sat in a coffee shop for hours. We read a book. We loved it. I'm not sure that we were able to dig down to the core of me... but that would be a lot to expect on a first date. So all of this to say that I am officially "seeing myself" and seeking after what lies beneath the smile.

I have been a lot of things to a lot of people in the past. I have loved each of the roles that I have played: sister, girlfriend, daughter, friend, lover, leader, comedian, student. Now I am going to make an effort to not only know what lies in the depths of me but to proclaim it to those I love... no more filter... no more walls. This is scary to write. I would ask you each to hold me accountable. If it sounds like I'm delivering a load of bull, call me out. I give you permission.

So now in response to my new "calling" I would like to say that I am anxious to see how you might respond to the ugliness I hide and excited to see how you might love the loveliness inside.

Fires

The evacuations are now mandatory ten minutes away from my house...

My father is napping on the roof with a hose in his hands.

Holy crap-a-moly.

What a day!

a little inspiration

It's not dress rehearsal.
Live the life you've imagined!
-Thoreau

Come check in later this week to read about how this quote and a few others led me to take myself on a date night Tuesday night. :)

Petra's Grand Adventure

My sister has "run away" on a grand journey. She left to New York last week and today she flew on to Dublin. I miss her already and now that I won't be able to call her phone to bug her, I am going to miss her even more. Her blog was created today by your's truly. So check her out and follow her latest travels.

Petra, I'm so proud of you!!!

My Halloween Costume: MacGyver

"How?" you ask.

"I will carry a Swiss Army knife and a roll of duct tape."

Yeah! This is going to be great fun. :)

Crack kills!

Rock the Vote

The one and only Joe Freeman was apart of the group that went down to visit Los Angelitos in September. He is also a member of the VERY HOT band This Holiday Life. I am going to make a shameless plug on their behalf. They are awesome and lovely boys (men really) who need YOUR votes in an online battle of the bands hosted by MTv2. You can vote more than once, and you should! (I voted almost an hour straight while watching TV with my momma.) It's easy!!!! DO IT!!!


Check out their myspace page!

They are one of the up and coming bands on MTv2, help them out and VOTE HERE!!!

Love

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
-James Baldwin

Inspiration on the Job

This is my inspiration as a waitress...


Gotta love some old school Electric Company Rita Moreno footage!!! (yep that's Morgan Freeman as well.)

Shout out to Mo Rocca star of the blogoshpere and often featured contestant on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me! I found this gem on his blog.

Nerd Alert!!!

No point denying it any more... and there is certainly no hope that it is curable. It may just be time to suck it up and admit it...
The following is further proof that I am a NERD through and through...

My Favorite Part of the Week:

...is listening to my podcast of "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me!", NPR's "oddly informative news quiz." That's correct, the highlight of my thrilling life is to listen to other people take a news quiz. I love it! I laugh so hard. I call out the answers when I know them. I've started to wish with all of my heart that one day I may win the ultimate prize... Carl Kassel's (the official scorekeeper of the show) voice on my home answering machine. I don't even OWN a home answering machine... BUT I would get one just to put his voice on it.

Check out my nerdalicious habit here!

The show will be taping live in Santa Barbara on March 27... if anyone is interested, I'm currently looking into getting tickets.

Final Drafts

So many of you (and by "many" I mean, perhaps the two of you who read this) may be wondering why I posted so many blogs in the past 24 hours... and how I managed to write so much so fast and sooooooo well. The answer is simple, I'm really good at what I do.

hahahaha Just kidding. What really happens is that I write all the time and eventually I edit my thoughts to the point that they are presentable. Today was an exceptionally productive editing day. So no, I did not spend the whole day writing and uploading pictures. I spent it playing with triplets, napping and then finally getting around to editing some of my overdue blogs. Sorry for the wait. :)

Aunties Forever

"Never have children, only grandchildren."
Gore Vidal (1925 - )

My sister Petra and I have our own version of the above quote. Our version reads, "Never have children, only nieces and nephews." Only we don't mean NEVER, we just mean not in the near future. We are supremely blessed with our niece and nephew (with one more niece on the way) and have decided that we are SOOOOO good at being aunts that we shouldn't try to push ourselves to be anything else than what we are.

(pictured: My niece Jazmyne and I being awesome at Christmas!!!)

X-Games

I'm not sure how many of you know that my mom is cool, but she is... both of my parents are, actually. Come to think of it, I may be the only uncool person in my family. I'm more of a nerd... I mean, I do have a blog! hahahaha okay so back to my cool mom. She is so hip that she buys tickets to the X-Games and has been a faithful fan for years. (I know she's pretty awesome! I tried to warn you.) So this year, she let her not-so-hip daughter join her. We (along with my very cool cousin and his son) watched the motocross and I (nerdily) wore earplugs. The jumps were spectacular and the beer was pretty good. I had a great time... but I don't know if I'll be going back soon. The X in X-Games stands for Extreme and for good reason!

Below is video of an "extreme" crash into a camera man... I thought I had watched this man die and started crying, BUT he is fine and still happily committed to his job at ESPN and the X-Games so now there is no need to cry.


On a complete side note, the X-Games were held at the same stadium that the Galaxy play (I saw Victoria Beckham/Posh Spice)... being there made me want to watch a pro futbol/soccer game. If anyone is interested, let me know.

Oh yeah!! AND I saw Chad Lowe in person and he is super cute. He was walking into the bathroom so we didn't get to spend a lot of time together, BUT I'm sure our future is bright (or nonexistent, I get them confused sometimes.).

Best Carne Asada Ever!!!

While I was in Mexico I was treated to the best carne asada of my life. A special shout out to Will, a crazy Mexican who can grill with the best of them.

Los Angelitos

(pictured: Gringos y Los Angelitos)
This past weekend the lovely Brockhaus' family (Amy & Andrew) planned a trip down to Los Angelitos, an orphanage just east of Tijuana, Mexico. The home houses mostly girls from the ages of one year to almost eighteen. It was started by a retired gringo named Ed Perry with his retirement money. To check out more about Los Angelitos and to find out how easy it is to help or visit please click the following link. Los Angelitos ... then come back and read about the latest love of my life.

(pictured: Me y mi amor)
In the course of the day I had a fabulous time... and (OF COURSE!!!) fell head over heels for each of the kids. But one in particular stole my heart completely. His name is Jesus and as you can see from the picture he loves me too! He loves to play with trains. He has a tendancy to leave ketchup on his cheek for hours at a time. He is quick to trust and a fabulous cuddle-bug. I have been trying to convince my parents that I need a new brother. (I HAVE wanted one my whole life.)... BUT I don't think they are buying it. Retirement is just around the corner and I think they can smell freedom. However the next time any of you run into my dad if you could ask how his son Jesus is... well that would really help me out, I think he is halfway there. He (like his daughter) is a sucker for a cute child.

(pictured: Red Rover, Red Rover send Aaron right over)
While I was cuddling with Jesus and playing with trains and Barbie dolls the older girls played Red Rover, Red Rover for hours. They totally ate up the attention and the competition. Amy Brockhaus is the perfect ringleader for such activities. She is like the Pied Piper of children. In fact, once she is done with her credential I plan to move into her district so my future children will get the best teacher in the world. I'm pretty sure that the day was fabulous for everyone involved! I know it was certianly one of the best days I've had in a very long time. I might be addicted to those precious babies.

(pictured: Lisbet, Enrique, and Jesus)
After a day full of fun and games we ate a lunch of hot dogs, Doritos and Coke... basically the ideal meal for any kid I know! The ketchup remained on Jesus's cheek for the rest of the day. (I found it completely endearing.) I can't wait for our second date... perhaps he'll wear mustard.


Don't worry I'll be posting stories and pictures of beautiful children very soon... in fact, I'll probably be trying to convince you all to make room in your calendar to visit with me and perhaps even make room in your home for a well-deserving child. I'm also working on a newsletter that I will post here and send out to the Los Angelitos mailing list.

A Thousand Splendid Suns...

is the most lovely and sadly sweet book I have ever read!

PLEASE read it... please. please. please.

I hope he writes at least one book a year... my life changes EVERY time I read one.

Name Game

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
Melissa

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
Melizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Blue Giraffe

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name)
Gail Via Mil Cumbres [apparently I'm starring in a telenovela with that name!)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
Gaamemck (jajajajaja that sounds like a sneeze)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).
Green Coffee sounded lame so...
Green Iced Double Tall Soy Latte (the sound of it instills fear in the hearts of criminals everywhere!!!)

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
Eagcgkm

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name)
McKim


9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)
Black Snoop


I know I know.... I should blog real blogs, BUT sometimes these little games are fun. :)

My First Bath in ???? Years

I can't remember the last time that I took a bath... it's been years, BUT this week I finally took one... with BUBBLES and everything.



I got to sit and read my new book The Country Under My Skin a memoir by a woman from Nicaragua. I love disappearing in another world, another life. I certainly wasn't born into a time or situation that allows me to be a revolutionary... at least not one who trained with Castro... but in a bathtub I can imagine it all, a good book allows me to live it all, at least for an hour or two. I thought I would write about a grand adventure, but I guess not falling asleep and drowning in the tub is as grandiose as I got this week.

internet access

Okay....

quick update:

I moved in with my grandmother in Solana Beach last week. It's a pretty big adjustment, since I also started two new jobs at the same time!!! Life is an adventure.

I should get internet installed this Friday SOOOOO expect some blogging this weekend.

(I am currently stealing internet at my local Panera Bread.)

:) I will be back in my internet addicted state VERY soon.

PS I took my first bath in years this week. Without the internet to distract me, I had time to sit in the tub with a good book. Pretty nice-uh.

Happiest Place on Earth

My sister Rosie and my niece Jazmyne were in San Diego visiting this past week and it was such a blast. We all loved having uninterrupted time together. The highlight of the week was a trip to DISNEYLAND!!!! Our family has always had a fondness for Mickey's homeland so these trips are a tradition of sorts. Wednesday morning we loaded our backpacks with snacks and water bottles (93 degrees!!!) and packed into Mom's minivan. Disneyland opens at 8:00 am and we were there by 8:30 ready for a FULL day of fun.

Our first ride of the day was Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It was a hit with all of us! (We loved it so much we rode it twice.) Please note my Mother's hand gesture in the picture. She is pretty hardcore for an old broad. ;)

We also LOVED Splash Mountain! Joel and Jazzy got soaked in the front.










Petra and I were extra cute having Sisterly Splash Mountain Fun!











I spent the day patiently looking for my own Prince Charming...

















Butt I only found some Pirate's Booty.... (jajajjajajaa I crack myself up.) The search continued for true love...

















NOPE!!!! NOT HIM!!! No man should ever wear a mesh shirt.... NEVER EVER!!
















I did find love with my new friend Flora. Joel, Jazzy, and I hung out in the petting zoo talking to all of the animals. Flora was the smallest and sweetest of all the goats. We were very sad to part with her. You can tell she is fond of me too by the way she leans towards me. We love to cuddle.






All in all it was a fabulous day. It ended with one of the best fireworks shows I've ever seen AND I drove us home in under an hour... I know I'm good!

[If anyone ever needs a family to go to Disneyland with, we are available and interested!]

Dog vs. Cat

Why I am a dog person....

A Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! Yummy!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids are up! Playtime!
Noon - Oh boy! Out in the yard! Love it!
2 pm - Oh boy! A ride in the car! Whoopi!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids back from school! More play!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! Wahoo!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad!
8 pm - Oh boy! More Dog food! Yummy!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs from master on the couch! The best!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! Can't beat it!


A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity - My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.

Pannikin Café

Saturday Morning Girl Time!!!

I love Pannikin Café in Leucadia and I love it even more when I get to spend it with some of my girls. Saturday morning was a blessed respite from studying. I hung out with Aimeé, Kelsey, Candace, Paige and Mona & Jill (not pictured). [Mostly I chatted Mona's ear off. I love her!] Pannikin is a converted train depot with some of the best spots in North County to sit and ponder life. If anyone wants to help me study early next week, I'll be camped out dodging bird droppings and testing latin root words. :)

Side note: I think the best spot to ponder life in south county is the Living Room in Point Loma. I would HIGHLY recommend it.

GRE = Summer of Studying

I registered yesterday to take the GRE on August 8... yep you did the math correctly, I have 23 days to cram some intense vocabulary and mathematical formulas into my dusty head. I have set up camp at the Carlsbad Library and am mooching their Internet to run through practice exams and flipping through Barron's GRE guidebook. All I have to say about that is: "The covers of this book are too far apart." (Ambrose Bierce)

Honestly, I love all of this. I am a nerd and I love being a student. I adore taking practice exams and going back to figure out what went wrong. I enjoy soaking up new vocabulary (I podcast PBS's "A Way With Words" for crying out loud!)... I just hope some if it lodges itself into the crevices of my mind so that I can access it on the 8th. I'm even kind of excited for the drive down to SDSU, finding my testing room, and having the proctor remind me that I can't have my own paper, handheld computer, calculator etc. at least six times. OMG I am a card-carrying nerd!

The thing I love the most is being in a library. I sit here and inhale the smell of books, hundreds and hundreds of books. I adore feeling lost in the stacks. I love hiding in the cubby holes they set up in the corners of the room for studiers like me. They have lamps at each desk and that excites me. I wish there were dark wood paneled walls... BUT I guess I can't have everything...yet. I dream of having a library of my own one day; A library I can legally drink a mug of coffee in... a library with a window seat and large globes and one of those ladders that let's you slide around the entire room. Awwww just the dream of it makes me smile.

"When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it." (Marie de Sevigne)

That's it I'm moving in here! Oh wait sorry....OK back to studying and the GRE... some of you may be wondering why I would be back to the books so soon after graduation. Well, I'm wondering the same thing myself really. The truth is, as I was looking for a job, nothing got my blood pumping like the thought of learning more... So I did some research and I'm applying to UCSD's Center for Iberian and Latin American Studies for the fall of 2008. This next year I will work and study to get ready for being a student one more time next fall. Funny how all of this works... I always think I have a plan, but someone else seems to have a much better one.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." (Douglas Adams)

Harry Potter

"Never judge a book by its movie."
-J. W. Eagan

That's all I have to say.

... let's be real, it's me. Of course, that isn't all I have to say.


I know I sound like a crazy person. I realize I could have an obsession with Harry and his friends. ... but truth be told, it is that good. The books will change your life. Read them and then try to tell me I'm crazy.

One Nation's Obsession with Chicken

Pizza or Chicken? The debate raged each time my suite mates wanted to order food to be delivered. Most of the time chicken beat out pizza. We weren't the only suite in Global Village that ordered chicken regularly. But does chicken delivery an obsession make? No. I mean look at us, we eat fried chicken in the USA. We have even been known to eat it out of a bucket... but over time it became very clear to me that South Korea's relationship with chicken may not be as innocent as I had initially thought.

One of my first clues was the chicken statue I found in Seoul near the beginning of the semester... We have weird statues in the USA too (Bob's Big Boy anyone?) so I wrote it off. I was naive... I had not yet endured four months of variations on fried chicken.

After numerous "Room Parties" spent sitting on the floor of my living room eating chicken with disposable chopsticks and drinking beer out of Dixie cups, I was already aware of the addiction (obsession, really) that South Koreans seem to have for chicken. Near the end of my time in Korea, I found the clearest evidence there was... an entire museum dedicated to CHICKEN ART. I laughed out loud, knowing that my theory had been proven, and had to take this picture to share with everyone.

Those in glass houses should not throw stones. As I was judgementally pondering the South Korean love affair with chicken, I thought back to my own childhood and summer afternoons at Jack Murphy Stadium watching the Padres games. Those of you who are local San Diegans and getting older, like me, will remember the World Famous San Diego Chicken. I have to admit that I (along with an entire city) had my very own love affair with a chicken. My new theory is that the deep and enduring love of poultry is universal... and knows no geographic bounds.

Chicken anyone?

Is it possible that it's genetic??!?!!?

GOD I HOPE NOT!

This is a picture of my cousin and my father "testing" electric shock therapy at our family's Fourth of July BBQ. Just a little taste of what our family calls "good old fashioned fun."

Memorable Korean Meals

I like eating... I really loved Eating in Korea

Here are some of my more memorable meals:

Silkworms: One of the most revolting things I have ever eaten. I DO NOT recommend them. They are easy to find throughout South Korea, BUT instead of looking for them, I would recommend hiding from them. Joyce and I were wise to be as fearful of the silkworm as we were when this picture was taken.










Kim Chi Burger with a Rice Bun: This one was surprisingly a hit with me. The fast food restaurant Lotteria features this interesting "Korean" version of the classic American hamburger. It was difficult to keep the "bun" in one piece while eating it, but for all the mess it was tasty. Perhaps Carl's Jr. should bring it to the States; it would fit very nicely into their "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face" ad campaign. Just a thought. If it happens, I want a cut of the profits!




Tom Loves Dog Soup: I liked it... I didn't love it, but it was a hit with Will and Tom, my dining companions. This was my most controversial meal by far. A few friends are reconsidering our friendship now that I've returned with dog on my breath. The best way I can describe the flavor is dark turkey meat with the consistency of chewy pork. It may not sound good, but it was. I ate all the meat but was too full to finish all the soup. I would recommend at least trying it if you get the chance.










Octopus Soup: I ate octopus soup on quite a few occasions. I LOVED it actually. Sure the octopus is really chewy, but it's oh so tasty. :)








WARNING!!!! This video is NOT for the faint of heart, or stomach.
Eating Squirming Eels: While on the coast in Busan, Will and I thought we should eat some fresh seafood. We walked around the fish market and once we were hungry we found a place that served fresh eel... REALLY fresh eel. The eel was cut up once we ordered it and placed in a basket on our table. We cooked the still-wriggling pieces on the grill, dipped them in a spicy sauce and ate them. We ate the whole eel, heads and tails included... it was gross. I was sick to my stomach afterwards and will NOT be eating it ever again. Lucky for us, a few days later Tom's dad took Will and I to an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet and we got to eat all the luscious fresh fish we wanted. :)